Preventing the Summer Slide

Camp is a great way to keep kids moving in the summer!

School’s out, and most kids look forward to a lazy summer full of freedom. Unfortunately, if that summer is too lazy, then kids can lose some of the valuable knowledge they gained during the school year. Here are a few strategies that parents can implement to prevent the “summer slide.”

Enjoy the Great Outdoors. Get your kids outside. Bike riding, nature hikes, time in the sandbox...these are the normal things that kids are supposed to do in the summer. When kids get outside to exercise and explore nature, they not only benefit physically, their minds are fast at work. They see new things and make up games. An hour spent playing in a sandbox employs imagination and gets the creative juices flowing.

Read, read, read! Pick up a good book and turn off the TV. Keep your kids reading all summer. Join the summer reading program at the library to help motivate and drum up interest. Reading doesn’t have to just be books, either. Magazines, graphic novels, comic books, and newspapers all qualify as reading. Set the example for your kids by choosing some of your own reading material. Hop in the hammock and spend an afternoon reading.

Go to Camp. Whether it’s a local camp or one that’s far from home, sending kids to camp is another ideal way to keep their minds sharp. Some camps have themes, like sports camps or nature camps, others are just general fun times spent in a particular place. Whichever you choose for your kids, not only will they continue to learn, they’ll also continue to develop their social skills which will benefit them throughout life.

Get Crafty. Provide opportunities for your kids to be creative. Let them sculpt, build, and paint. Older kids can tackle projects that involve skills like sewing or basic carpentry. If you need an idea, the internet provides a bounty of websites that will inspire and direct. An added bonus for summertime projects is the warm weather. Most of the mess can be kept outside, and this makes clean-up easier.



Traveling puts kids in new situations.

Hit the Road. Take your kids on vacation. Whether it’s a “stay-cation” close to home or a long trip to a far-away place, get the kids outside of their comfort zones with travel. Traveling to new places expands their minds, and kids learn from new experiences that occur daily. Whether it’s a museum, a trip to the beach, or a hike through the mountains, traveling away from home teaches kids valuable lessons that can’t be gleaned from a book.

Keep up the Routine.  Keep kids in a routine, as much as possible. Continue to implement household chores on a daily basis. Don’t let kids sleep half the day away and stay up all night. Continue to participate in music lessons or sports practices whenever possible. The more consistent you are with expectations and routines, the easier it will be to transition them back into school routines in the fall.

Pull out the Workbooks. For parents who want to take a structured approach to preventing the summer slide, there are a myriad of workbooks on the market for purchase. Require kids to complete several pages a day to keep skills fresh in their minds. When the new school year rolls around, they won’t need to review. They’ll be ready to go.

The summer slide doesn’t have to be an inevitable part of kids’ lives. When parents keep their kids’ minds and bodies moving in the summer, easing back into the school routine is as easy as 1-2-3.

 

Raising a Happy, Healthy Tween

Tweens -- a newer word in our language defined as, “Youngsters between the ages of 8 and 12.” These kiddos aren’t quite children anymore but they’re not teens, either. They’re at a time in life where a strong self-image develops and intense emotional, social, and physical changes occur. Parents can implement a few of these strategies into their families to grow kids into happy, healthy tweens who are ready to smoothly advance into the teen and adult years.

Provide 8-10 Hours of Sleep Every Night. Tweens grow rapidly, and a good night’s sleep is vital to a healthy body. The tweens’ tendency may be to stay up late, but make it a priority to provide a bed room environment that will encourage good sleeping habits. Start by removing all electronics from the room at night and stick to a regular bedtime. Bedrooms should also be comfortable and quiet.

Drink Mostly Water and Milk. Soda, diet soda, sports drinks, and even juice can be full of sugar and empty calories. Promote water and milk as the primary beverages, and save the others for special occasions. Tweens need to focus on nutrition, and these drinks do not support a healthy body.

Keep ‘Em Active. Tweens spend a large part of their day sitting at school, so keep them moving as much as possible. One hour of exercise every day is suggested, but even light activity is better than being sedentary. Playing outside, doing yard work or household chores, and playing with pets are all ways to keep kids off the couch and on their feet.

 Watch Only PG or G Rated Movies. Tweens may feel the pressure to watch PG-13 or R rated movies if their friends are, but the content of these films is not appropriate for impressionable tweens. Tweens are more likely to conform than teenagers are, and these films give a view of life that is not realistic for kids this age.

Play Only “E” Rated Video Games. Tweens’ amount of time with video games should definitely be limited in favor of physical activity, but if they must play video games, the “E” for Everyone rating is appropriate for this age level. As with movies, the higher rated games provide a snapshot of behavior and violence that’s not geared for kids in the tween years.

 Limit the Use of Social Media and Texting. Tweens’ ability to make wise choices regarding the content of their texting and social media activity is limited. They do not possess the maturity to manage themselves on these sites. Do not allow social media and texting until the teen years. Even then, parents should have full access to their kids’ activities in this area.

Monitor all Internet Activity. While the Internet can be a useful tool for tweens, it can also be a dangerous place. Studies show that every year 1 out of 5 children ages 10-17 are sexually solicited on the Internet. In that same year, 1 out of every 33 kids are aggressively solicited for money, gifts, or to arrange a meeting. 25 percent of kids will be exposed to sexually explicit material online. In short, parents need to monitor and filter the content their tweens are accessing on the Internet and train their kids in Internet safety.

Encourage Appropriate Dress. It’s a good lesson for all tweens when parents instruct them on modest dress. It can be a challenge, for sure, when styles for tweens appear to be the same ones marketed towards teens and adults. However, in an age span when kids begin to develop a self-image, parents should teach their kids how to showcase their inner qualities more than their outer appearances.  During the tween years parents can also teach their kids about dressing appropriately for different occasions and dressing for success. These lessons translate well into adulthood when most adults find themselves with clothing requirements for work.

No Time for Romance! It may be cute when tweens want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but the tween years have no place for such behavior. This puts an unnecessary focus on romantic relationships, and these types of relationships have nowhere to go. Kids at this age should focus on being friends, not on who they’re “going out with.” Again, kids in the tween years are developing that sense of self-worth, and introducing romantic ideals into that concept only confuses them.

Parents who lay a solid foundation during the tween years set themselves up for success in the teen years. Tweens who develop a solid group of core values and a positive self-image will find those traits following them into the teen years and beyond.

Putting the "R" in Responsibility

As a teacher, parents ask me for advice on developing the trait of responsibility in their children. Here are strategies to increase your child’s level of accountability.

Assign Household Chores. Chores are part of life, and for kids they are an excellent way to teach the trait of responsibility. The earlier parents implement a regular routine of household chore assignments, the more accustomed children will be to completing them. As the parent, make it an expectation that your child will complete chores in a timely manner and as directed by you. A simple chart on the refrigerator can help you monitor chore assignments and completion. 

Homework is Child’s Play. High expectations for homework are a wonderful way to teach responsibility. Make it a routine in your household, and put the onus on the child for completion. Parents shouldn’t sit with children and walk them through their homework. Provide a quiet location with all the necessary materials, and then leave the child alone to do the work.

Allow Consequences to Occur. Don’t shelter your children from the consequences associated with their decisions. Allow your children to stumble in order to help them learn a lesson. For example, if your children choose not to complete homework, there are consequences associated with that decision. Allow them to experience those outcomes, which may include poor grades, loss of privileges, not making honor roll, or ineligibility for a sports team. As they struggle through the consequences, they will understand how to improve their decision making for the future.

Make a Connection. As children grow, help them to see the connection between responsible behavior and gaining privileges within the family. It’s natural for kids to want additional freedoms as they move through the teen years. Make a clear connection between their responsible behavior and the privileges that you give them. For example, kids who want to drive a family car need to show that they can demonstrate dependable behavior at school and at home. Then, when they’re driving, they show responsibility by following the traffic laws and handling the car in the appropriate manner. In return they are permitted to drive more often and for longer distances.

Recognize Improvements.  We all enjoy recognition for our achievements and successes in life. As your kids make improvements and show responsibility, give recognition to their achievements. Even small steps are worth celebrating. As they consistently demonstrate responsible behavior, allow them more freedoms.

Consistent leadership by parents along with clear expectations for behavior will help develop that trait of responsibility in your child. Monitor school behavior by checking grades online and communicating with the teacher. Couple the school behavior with the home behaviors and in time you will see your child turn into a responsible young man or woman.

Building Your Child's Visual Dictionary

Building a child’s “visual dictionary” is a vital part of child development. In this case, a visual dictionary isn’t a book you can buy at the store. It refers to the background knowledge, or schema, that every person on Earth possesses. We all have a set of experiences which impact how we interact with the rest of the world.

Parents can begin to build this visual dictionary in their young children.  Although it’s called a visual dictionary, all five senses are used to build schema. You can start with your children while they are babies. The earlier you begin to expose them to a variety of experiences, the more they will absorb and bring into their schema for the long run.

How can parents do this? There are many ways to build a visual dictionary, but first you need to leave the house. Children spend time in their houses every day, and after a while, these sights and sounds become routine. Build a visual dictionary by placing new items into a child’s world. It doesn’t take a long journey to find something new. Start with places in your community. Frequent visits to the city park, with a chance to explore, could be a great first step.

Searching for crayfish

After that, continue to look for new outdoor adventures. Check your area for parks or nature preserves that provide a wealth of opportunities for exploration. Let children investigate new items within the parks and take time for hands-on moments. For example, one day last summer my girls spent hours in a creek looking for crayfish. They were both delighted and terrified when those critters shot out from under rocks. They began to count the crayfish, and we all learned quite a few things about crayfish just from watching them in the water. Did you know that they can move backwards? Neither did I until we took the time to search them out and observe them.

Fine arts experiences are another wonderful way to build a visual dictionary. Find concerts and plays that are age appropriate, and expose your child to the joys of live performance. If the venue is suitable, encourage your child to dance or sing along to the music. I will never forget a Florida vacation when my four-year-old daughter danced outside a restaurant that featured a live band. We sat on a bench and listened to music while she danced the night away.

In the summer, take your child to parades and other ceremonial events. The floats and general pageantry build long lasting images in a child’s mind. The same is also true for festivals and fairs. Once summer rolls around, you’ll have no problem finding a unique festival or fair experience. Be sure and see as many different exhibits as you can. If it’s a fair, walk through the animal barns. Kids who grow up in the city don’t often get close-up views of cows and pigs. My daughter still talks about the rabbits she saw at the fair last summer.

Zoos and museums provide another opportunity for building a child’s visual dictionary. Take time to travel, if needed, to experience these valuable resources. Museums and zoos provide many enjoyable hours of experiences for your child. A simple Google search provides the information you need to make plans for visiting any of these excellent establishments.

However or wherever you choose to build your child’s visual dictionary, remember that it’s all about frequently experiencing new things. Even the youngest child builds background knowledge daily. Turn off the TV, computer, and video games and go out to see what the world has to offer. As the parent, you might even add a few new things to your visual dictionary as well!

Putting Children on a TV Diet

Television – friend or foe? While television possesses some positive qualities, there can be a dark side to this common device. Have you ever been shocked at the content of common television programs? Perhaps the strife in your household can be traced back to television viewing habits. Do you notice a downturn in your children’s behavior after they watch certain programs? If these statements sound familiar, then consider putting your children on a TV diet.

A TV diet is simple. It involves instituting a “no electronics” policy in your household. “No electronics” means no TV, computer, video gaming systems, tablets, or any other type of electronic device. Pull the plug. The only exceptions would be in the case of a school assignment. Beyond that, make all the electronics go dark in your home.

Why go to such drastic measures? The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages parents to allow no television time for children less than two years of age. In addition, they advise no more than one to two hours per day for older children. A 2007 study from Columbia’s College of Physicians and Surgeons concluded that 14-year-olds who watched one or more hours of television daily “were at elevated risk for poor homework completion, negative attitudes toward school, poor grades, and long-term academic failure. Those who watched three or more hours a day were at even greater risk for ‘subsequent attention and learning difficulties,’ and were the least likely to go to college.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends that adolescents not have televisions in their bedrooms. Children and teens who have bedroom televisions face the temptation to watch when they should be sleeping. According to the website WebMD, the recommended amount of sleep for elementary children is 10-11 hours per day. Teens should be getting 8-9 hours of sleep per day. To encourage good sleeping habits, create a quiet and relaxing bedroom environment for children. Also make it an electronics-free zone at night. Designate a centrally located spot in your house where all portable electronics must be placed at bedtime.

The reduction of television and electronics time for your children will bring benefits. Time will be created for children to engage in brain-building activities such as creative play, reading, and exercising.  Provide materials and toys that will give children the opportunity to participate in such activities. Engage in family activities that encourage these skills, especially exercise. Spring is right around the corner, and this is a perfect time to get the family outside to participate in physical activity. Walking, jogging, or playing a game in the backyard increases physical activity for the family.

Another way to encourage more family time without electronics is to try a family game night. That may sound old-fashioned, but when the family sits down to play a game together, many skills are employed. For example, family members have to talk to each other. The participants must use strategy to be successful in the game. If it’s a team effort, the members must communicate and collaborate. Some games require drawing, singing, or acting out motions. Vocabulary skills are utilized in certain games, while money and math skills are needed with others. Family members also learn how to be compassionate winners and gracious losers. One game played every night provides a wealth of benefits to everyone involved, kids and parents.

If a TV diet sounds right for your family, you may wonder about the timeframe for such a diet. The appropriate amount of time will depend on your family. For some, a simple day without electronics would be sufficient. For other families, the timeframe might need to be longer, maybe a week. In some cases, you might find that no ending date is required. Tell your children that the ending date is, “to be determined.” Or, a regular day each week could be an “unplugged” day. Pick a day of the week and make it part of your regular routine.

Will your children be unhappy? Of course. As the parent, you must firmly put your earplugs in place and carry on as if you hear nothing. Children will eventually get over the shock of this altered lifestyle.

Our house is currently in the midst of a TV diet, and while my children are not thrilled, they have stopped complaining and moved forward. Lately, we’ve read many books and played plenty of games. My kids have kept busy with the toys that fill their bedrooms, and there’s been a great deal of creative play that’s taken place. The entire family is more cheerful and relaxed. Who knows, at this rate our TV diet may go on indefinitely. If we can do it, so can you!

Creating a Bookworm in Your Family

Enthusiastic readers are made, not born. Parental intervention and encouragement gets the ball rolling and keeps it rolling. Here’s how you can transform your child into a world-class reader.

1.  Start early. If possible, begin exposing your child to books from birth. Even though you may feel like reading to a baby is a useless task, through this process your child will become accustomed to how books “work.” The child will hear you read and will begin to realize the “sound” of reading. Keep reading to your child through the toddler and preschool years. Don’t abandon story time in elementary school. Children of all ages love to be read to.

A true bookworm...reading at the pool!

2.  Provide a wealth of materials in your home. In addition to books, offer newspapers, magazines, comic books, and graphic novels to your child. Even “junk mail” in the form of catalogs can provide a source of reading material.  Allow children to read what interests them, not what you think they should be reading. Boys generally favor nonfiction while girls favor fiction. Any type of reading is still reading, so encourage your child to explore a variety of resources.

3.  Get creative in acquiring materials. If you feel the financial pinch of buying new items, visit your local library. It’s free to acquire a library card, and as long as you don’t incur late fees, the library can keep you stocked in reading material for years. Other low-cost sources include used book stores and garage sales. Parents can also institute a swap policy with families who have kids of similar ages. Load a bucket with books and trade with another family for a month.

If your family uses e-readers, check for free or low cost books that you can download. Most public libraries now have books that can be “checked out” for your e-reader. The website www.bookbub.com will send you a daily e-mail with free and low cost books in your chosen genre. The selections from Book Bub are appropriate for teens and adults.

4.  Set an example. Kids who see their parents read on a regular basis are more apt to do it themselves. Make a concerted effort to read in front of your children, and let them know that it’s a priority for you. If you’re not a fan of chapter books, consider the resources discussed above. Magazines, newspapers, and graphic novels still qualify as reading.

5. Unplug the electronics.  Precious hours of the day are wasted sitting in front of electronic devices. Institute a daily time where there can be no electronics in use. Encourage kids to fill this time with reading. You can make an exception for e-readers as long as they are only for reading.

6.  Find common ground. Once your child becomes older, take time to read some of the same books. This provides common ground for you and your child. Have discussions about the books – the characters, the exciting highs and lows, and anticipation for sequels to be released. Not only does this encourage your child to read, it helps to keep a line of communication open between the child and the parents.

Meeting with YA author Peter Lerangis at an author event.
Check your local bookstores for these free author moments.
It's a great way to excite your child about reading!

7.  Celebrate books. Popular book series garner quite a following among both kids and adults. Book release parties and author visits are some of the events that accompany the release of new books in a popular series. Participate in these events with your child, and go out of your way to make these memorable moments.

8.  Spend time in bookstores and libraries. Make the bookstore a destination. Take the time to browse for an afternoon. Books on every topic can be found on the shelves, and hours can be spent searching and reading. We are fortunate to have wonderful library and bookstore resources in our area. Make great use of what’s available to encourage reading.

It’s never too late to instill the love of reading to your child. Consistent implementation of the techniques described above will, over time, turn your child into a bookworm and will set the stage for a lifetime of reading enjoyment.

Using Holiday Moments to Build Family Traditions

Children enjoy decorating their own
little Christmas trees.

The holiday season is an ideal time to employ special moments as a way to build lifelong traditions with your kids. Take time to slow down and invest in each other to build upon a set of traditions that can be carried on for generations and leave a lasting legacy in your family.

Most of us are decking the halls and making the season bright, but you can turn this into an important time for your child through a few simple steps. Look at the ornaments on your tree. Are there special ones that have significance? Let your kids take ownership of ornaments like this and hang them in a place of honor on the tree. Be sure to tell the stories behind ornaments that are important to the family. Another way to build a family tradition with ornaments is to allow children to purchase a new ornament that they particularly like each Christmas. It will be their job to place it on the tree every year.

To take the decorating tradition up a notch, find a small tree that is just for your kids to decorate. Let them be the masters of the tree and decorate it as they see fit. Knowing that they have their “own” tree, gives them something they can look forward to every year. This year my daughter decorated a small Disney Princess tree that is distinctly her own work of art.

Setting up the nativity scene can be another holiday tradition for religious families. As each piece is placed, retell the story of Jesus, and invite your children to be part of the storytelling.

As more and more lights make their appearance on our holiday horizon, make a yearly tradition of visiting the area’s light displays. I still remember visiting a light display at a local waterfall every year. My family made it a tradition to go to the falls and walk down the path to view the display. It was an annual event and one that I eagerly anticipated. Search out a light display in the area, and make a point to visit that display, even if it’s just a drive-by viewing. Top off the night with a cup of hot cocoa and you’ve got a family tradition in the making.

Children’s Christmas books abound at this time of year, and your family may already have a favorite. Whether the story is read every night of the season or only on a certain night, bringing those moments of literature into the house encourages reading while fostering enjoyment of the season. It may be the story of Jesus read straight from the Bible, a beautifully illustrated version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” or even the Dr. Seuss Classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Whatever it is, make the reading of a Christmas classic an event for everyone. Pull up pillows in front of the fireplace, grab the milk and cookies, and gather together for the story. Parents don’t necessarily have to do the reading, either. Older siblings can read to the family, or let the willing readers take turns with different books. Stuck on what book to read? Visit Jay & Mary’s Book Center in Troy, and they will be happy to make suggestions for you from the great selection of holiday books that they always stock at this time of year.

Create little sous chefs by allowing kids to be an integral part of the cookie baking process. Everyone can don aprons and set about with cookie making and decorating. Containers of sugars and sprinkles will definitely catch a child’s eye, and they’ll remember spending time in the kitchen baking up warm memories. Share the goodness of your kitchen by delivering plates of baked goods to neighbors. Let the kids add a personal touch by decorating Christmas cards with drawings and stickers. This will surely warm your neighbors’ hearts, and it will help your children understand what it means to give.

Whatever traditions you choose to build in your family both this year and in the years to come, remember that the essential element is time. Spend time together away from the other distractions of life. Turn off the TV and the other electronics. Connect with your kids by giving them your undivided attention while you make those holiday traditions ones that will last a lifetime.

Christmas Gifts for Grandparents

As you’re making your list and checking it twice this year, choosing a gift for a grandparent can be difficult at times. If your grandparent is the type who appears to have everything, the gift selection can be even more strenuous. Here are a few suggestions for choosing the right gift for the grandparents on your list.

The first step in choosing an ideal gift is to listen. In the months prior to Christmas, keep your eyes and ears open when you spend time with your grandparents. The words, “Oh, it would be handy to have…” or “I sure could use…” often precede an off-hand comment that could later turn into a great choice for a Christmas gift. Take a look around your grandparents’ house. Do you see something that needs updated or replaced? Is it an item that grandma and grandpa wouldn’t spend the money on themselves? This, too, could turn into an idea for a Christmas gift.

If distance separates you from your grandparents, employ some spies to help you. Other family members who live in the vicinity of grandma and grandpa could be called upon to be your eyes and ears this Christmas season. Or, another relative may have heard your grandparents mention something that they need or want. If they’re willing to share this information with you, then you can use it in your gift selection.

Another strategy is to pay attention to your grandparents’ hobbies. Choose a gift that will help them enjoy their leisure time activities. For example, my grandmother is a wonderful knitter, so a gift that includes yarn or a knitting idea book is always right up her alley. My grandfather survived Pearl Harbor and was a proud member of the Navy during World War II. Up until his death, he could tell me every detail of his experience on that fateful day. Through the years, I was able to find many gifts related to World War II, the Navy, and Pearl Harbor that were to his liking. He never tired of reading a new book about the war or pouring over a piece of Pearl Harbor memorabilia. Take time to note your grandparents’ interests and then turn those into a thoughtful and creative gift.

If you’re still feeling flummoxed, try to think of a gift that keeps on giving. For example, put together a movie-watching kit of a fleece blanket, popcorn, and a few classic movies on DVD. A coffee kit is another creative gift idea. Choose an interesting mug and then pack a gift bag full of different coffees. The chocolate gift is another selection you might make. Peruse the candy aisle and put together an assortment of different chocolates and treats. Throw in a local favorite like Winan’s or Esther Price, and this makes for a delicious gift for grandma and grandpa. The gift of reading can always be appreciated. Even if you don’t feel comfortable choosing actual titles, pick a novelty book and then include a gift card and an assortment of bookmarks.

The gift of time is one that is always a hit with grandparents. Whether you help with some handyman-type tasks around the house, or you take your grandparent on an outing to the movies or to lunch, spending time with each other is a gift that benefits everyone. Take time to invest in a relationship with your grandparents, and you’ll be all the richer for it.

 

The key to finding just the right gift for a grandparent is to watch, listen, and then apply some creativity. Think outside the box, and you just may be able to surprise them on Christmas morning.

Using the 4 R's with Kids

As a parent, I’ve been blessed with two daughters. As a teacher, I’ve been privileged to teach hundreds of kids. Both of these roles have been learning experiences for me, and I’ve come to understand that successful children have a solid set of expectations to follow. Telling a child, “Be good,” isn’t enough. What does “good” mean? Children need concrete standards and examples, and those standards are ones that can be used at home and at school.

At my school we use a set of standards called the “Four R’s.” These four R’s are respect, responsibility, restraint, and recognizing the rights of others. We use these to help students focus on their behavior and to improve it. These may sound like school strategies, but they can also be successful at home.



Students show respect to each other by listening to
others opinions.

Respect is the first quality, defined by the dictionary as an attitude of deference. School examples of respect include looking at a person when they speak, being quiet when others share their ideas and opinions, and speaking to each other with kind words and voices even when upset. These examples work just as well at home. Teach your children to show respect to their parents by making eye contact and by following directions immediately. Respect can also be shown at home by listening to other family members and allowing them to voice their opinions. Siblings in a fight? Teach them how to speak to each other with kindness, even when they’re upset.

Successful students must be responsible, no matter what their age. At school, we expect students to be responsible for their own belongings and to come to class prepared. However, learning to be responsible starts at home. Use chores to accomplish this task. Choose age appropriate chores for your kids and develop a regular schedule for completion. For example, a four year old can help an older sibling unload the dishwasher. Middle school kids can begin to learn how to do laundry, along with folding it and putting it away. Teenagers can do all this plus more difficult chores such as mowing and other yard work. You can also put the responsibility for completing homework on your child. Give them a quiet place to get it done, but make this part of their daily routine. For example, my oldest daughter comes home and does her homework and chores before doing anything else. Once a routine is established, and the children have accepted the responsibility for it, it becomes a regular part of their day. Start these types of routines as early as you can in a child’s life, and they will grow up thinking it is normal.

Restraint can be a tough area for kids, especially when they are upset. At home, let children see you model self-control when you are distressed. When they see Mom and Dad controlling anger, or expressing it in a mature way, they begin to see proper restraint in action. They will take their cues from you. Sibling interaction is also a great time to teach restraint. Every brother and sister knows what it’s like to have their space invaded! Teach kids how to express their feelings in a rational way towards siblings who have overstepped their bounds. When siblings are fussing, this is a great opportunity to teach them about self-control.

At school, respecting the rights of others means not touching another person’s property or body without permission. At home it means the same thing! For example, brothers and sisters learn to leave siblings’belongings alone. This can also mean respecting the boundaries of mom and dad’s belongings. For example, my own children know that my purse is off limits. The same goes for Dad’s wallet. My girls know they may not enter each other’s bedrooms without permission. Sometimes this is difficult to follow, but by responding to these parameters, they show respect for each other. Personal space also falls into this category. We do not allow our students to physically hurt each other. This is a standard that can be replicated at home, as well.

Children crave boundaries, and they respond when parents set limits for them. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you won’t gain perfect behavior from your kids overnight. Every child is a work in progress, but using concrete standards such as these can help kids understand expectations and start to follow them. Strong expectations build happy, productive, well-adjusted kids.

 

Note -- This is an article was published in my local newspaper on 10/4/12.

Parents Make the Grade at Parent Teacher Conferences

Parent-Teacher Conference season is upon us, and while the conference you attend may only be 15 minutes long, it is an important 15 minutes. The parent-teacher partnership is an important relationship in the educational success of a child. Here are a few suggestions for parents to help make the conference experience a productive one.

1. Contact the teacher immediately for any changes in your appointment. The teacher needs to meet with 20 to 25 sets of parents. It’s usually possible to reschedule, but the earlier you do it, the better.

2. Be on time. The appointment time is already short enough. Take advantage of every scheduled minute by being punctual. This also helps the teacher to stay on schedule which is a courtesy to other parents.

3. Contact the teacher in advance if you want to discuss a specific concern about your child. This will give the teacher the opportunity to prepare and organize materials that address your particular issue.

4. Realize that you may have to return for a follow-up meeting. The situation of your child may require another appointment to further discuss concerns. Or, if a plan for improvement is put into place, it will be necessary to have other meetings to report on progress.

5. Remember that teachers and parents are all on the same side. Approach this relationship as a partnership. Everyone’s goal is the educational success of your child. Teachers love it when parents work alongside them to support the educational endeavors of the classroom.

6. It’s okay to be frustrated. Calmly explain to the teacher why you’re frustrated. Work with the teacher to find solutions to the problems that your child faces. Come in with an open mind and be open to suggestions.

7. Teachers are great resources for you. They’re experts in their fields, and they’ll be glad to share their knowledge. For example, if you have specific questions about standardized test scores or an educational topic, ask the teacher. The teacher will be happy to explain these.

8. Frequently check your child’s grades online. Online grade books are an excellent tool for monitoring educational progress. If you’ve been a regular visitor to the online grade book, you won’t have any surprises when you attend the conference.

9. If the teacher uses technology to communicate, such as e-mails and websites, be a frequent user of these tools. Not only will it give you vital information about the class, but you’ll get a feeling for who the teacher is. You’ll walk into the conference with a greater understanding of classroom expectations.

10. Both parents should attend the conference, if possible. This gives the teacher a chance to meet and interact with both parents.

When teachers and parents work together, everyone wins. View the parent-teacher conference as an opportunity for you to help your child be as educationally successful as possible. The teacher is your greatest ally in this endeavor.