Clever Parent's Guide to Discipline

Are you frustrated when it’s time to discipline your less-than-well-behaved children...again? If you feel like pulling out your hair, just implement the mindset of a clever parent.

1.  Stay as cool as a cucumber. Children expect yelling when they’ve broken the rules, so make it your policy to stay calm. Use a measured tone of voice to let them know which rule they’ve broken and what their consequence will be. Don’t argue with them. You’re the parent in charge, and the parent in charge doesn’t argue. Use respectful language, speak clearly and plainly, and close your ears to any ranting and raving that might occur.

2.  Make the punishment fit the crime. You might want to ground your children for the rest of their lives and send them off to military school, but that’s extreme for offenses like talking back or not picking up toys. If you jump to the ultimate consequence right away, then you don’t have anywhere to go in the future. So, pick a lesser consequence and build from there. For example, start your child on two days without a cell phone and then you can add extra days to the duration, if needed.

3.  Consequences should inconvenience the child, not the parent. A consequence should only make one person unhappy, the child who receives it. Pick penalties that get the child’s attention and help them realize that you mean business. Administer them calmly (remember, cool as a cucumber) and without interrupting your life. Does it matter if your child watches TV? Nope. It’s not your problem, is it?

4.  Think outside the box. You might feel the need to freshen up your rotation of consequences, so occasionally add a few new ones to the mix. Often this brings protests from the children, but while they’re not watching television, they can scrub toilets, rake leaves, and fold laundry. I once felt the need to get my daughter’s attention, so I removed everything from her bedroom except for furniture. Her basic needs were still being met, so it wasn’t a problem that the room was mostly bare. That was a consequence she never forgot, and the mere mention of it usually snaps her right back into line.

5. Remind your children who’s in charge. Children who are bit too big for their britches need a gentle reminder of who’s the boss. That person is the parent who provides for all their needs and guides them through childhood on the road to successful adulthood. Yes, there are bumps along the way, but clever parents use these to teach lessons and reign in the children who’ve gotten out of hand.

The clever parent never loses her cool, even
when the going gets tough!

6. Consistency is key. Parents must follow through with the consequences they administer. To cut short a consequence tells children that you don’t mean what you say. Choose wisely so the consequence will be effective.

The clever parent is calm, cool, and collected. The clever parent doesn’t argue. The clever parent knows that consequences are important and administers them with love. The clever parent never forgets the goal – to raise productive members of society. Hang in there, parents. It’s all worth it in the end.